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It's All About Respect
Steve
Young, head of the union bargaining committee for the striking mechanics
of Northwest Airlines some time ago, was asked by a reporter what it
would take to settle the strike. He answered: “The company would have
to start out by showing some level of respect for its
employees who have built this carrier over the decades.”
Chai Vang, the Hmong hunter who killed a
number of people on a hunting ground in Wisconsin (November 2004),
stated that he only opened fire after receiving what he described as a
profanity-laced, racist tongue-lashing. This made him feel
disrespected, he told a Chicago reporter.
Six people died, and the killer is in
jail for life.
It is dangerous to show disrespect,
particularly to someone who carries a weapon — or to one who could harm
your business or reputation.
Showing
respect does not cost much money or effort. A few months ago, I was
behind another car, waiting for a red light to change. The license
plate on that car read, "Vietnam Veteran." I stepped out and walked
over to the driver of the car in front. "I noticed from your plate that
you are a Vietnam Veteran," I said.
The
driver, a burly fellow in his late fifties, tightened up. I could see
that he braced for a stinging sermon.
"I want
to thank you for your service," I continued.
He
relaxed and nodded his head. His eyes misted. "Thank-you," he said.
I was
raised to respect my teachers, the elderly, my employers, and people who
served our country. From there, it was not difficult to extend respect
to everyone else. When a funeral procession passes by in my hometown,
people stop. They take off their hats. Death does not discriminate;
nor should we.
In a project we did for a large clinic,
I asked the people we worked with to suggest a brief statement that
would embody the dozens of recommendations that emerged from the work.
"It's all about respect," was the chosen sentence.
And it truly was. Once people were
listened to and were given an opportunity to contribute, the obstacles
to clinic solvency vanished.
When I talk to people who have retired,
I often ask them about their most cherished memories from their early
days. Their answers are almost always about respect: A boss stopping
by and thanking them for a job well done; a client calling and thanking
them for service above and beyond the call of duty; flowers given by a
grateful employee or colleague.
I'm pretty sure that respect, or
disrespect, actually carries an even bigger punch. The occupation of
the American Embassy in Tehran (1979-1981) by Iranian demonstrators was
a gesture of extraordinary disrespect that has colored relations between
Iran and the U.S. ever since. Iran's drive to develop its own nuclear
capacity might well be related. |
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Iran wants to be
respected, and so does the United States. Since
respect must be earned, it may seem easier to
achieve it by threat than by appreciation. But
threats just generate counter-threats. Eventually,
they explode into vicious circles of violence,
perhaps causing us all to forget what started it
all.
Chances are that it
all started with someone showing disrespect. A
simple apology may have sufficed to nip it in the
bud. South Africa decided to deal with the
abolishment of apartheid through a
truth-and-reconciliation process — rather than
pursuing vengeance. Truth paves way for acceptance,
and maybe forgiveness, and the remembrance is the
lesson
I'm writing this
because I see disrespect everywhere now. It is
endemic on the Internet, and our children spend more
time in front of the computer screen than they do in
front of the television. It is on TV, too, and in
the tabloids. It is in waiting lines, classrooms,
office landscapes, and City Hall.
It need not be like
that.
And you can change
it.
Just think of
something that is true and good, but that you have
not said or acknowledged to someone before. Then
tell that someone. Be scrupulously honest and
polite.
“I don’t know if I
have told you, son, how pleased I am with the good
work you are doing in school this year. I am proud
of you”.
“When I saw you help
that customer, I admired the way you listened to and
acted on his complaint. You delivered both service
and compassion in the very best tradition of this
company”.
What now happens may
not be visible to you. It happens inside the heart
and mind of another person. But be sure that it will
be remembered. Be sure that it will create value for
years to come.
This is all about
"soft" variables. They are truly superior to the
"hard" variables: Revenues, profits, costs,
inventory, throughput.
Interesting, is it
not, that outstanding leaders know that the hard
results come only when the soft variables have been
attended to? Respected workers do respectable work.
On the chalkboard
above the desk of an oil platform manager in the
North Sea, there was a faded note. "Every day, I
thank God that you are on our team. We could not do
this work without you…" It was signed and dated by
his boss. The note was five years old.
"I'm energized by
that slip of paper every day," said the manager.
We should all have
bosses like that. Or platform managers like he.
And we can.
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